Easter came and went this year. Shame on me for not writing an article on that day, but I had neither the time nor motivation on that day. Now it is Thursday and I'm grinding through my week. Today is significant to me because it is Anna's birthday. Eight years ago, my little girl was born. She will always hold a special place in my heart, as do all my children, but hers is unique. She was my first daughter, and the first child born of Jenn and I. She made me realize that I had something more precious than I realized, and that I need to continue to strive to be a better man. This Easter I am grateful for the redeeming sacrifice Jesus made for me. I also realize how much of a blessing it was to have a daughter. She has helped me to understand my redemption.
I am sitting in one of my favorite pubs, The Allen Wickers. I didn't work yesterday or today. I took some much needed, and much overdue time off. I needed a chance to get my thoughts together and to refocus. I want to do something else with my life. I have been consumed with my work for many years now. It leaves little time for anything else. I love to write, to create, to experience life, and in turn share those experiences and the wisdom that I gain with others. I have had little time to do any of those things. I haven't picked up a guitar in a long time. These are sad facts that make me realize I have been going in the wrong direction. Yesterday, sitting in my truck, I heard R. C. Sproul talking about this very thing. If you find yourself hating Mondays and longing for Friday, it is a good indication that you are not on the right path, and not in line with what God wants for your life. I think I am a case study in this very example. So what now? What do I do? I am sitting here pondering these things and trying to sort it out, hopefully with God's guidance. I haven't always been the best Christian. More often than not, I have been a pretty poor one. I am working on that. I need time daily to spend with God. I want a job that allows this. I want a mission. I want to find my way to serve God. I want to make a difference.
I was supposed to write about the new year and what my resolutions were and all that, right? Call it a lack of motivation if you will, or more likely, a lack of interest. Work has been a downer lately, consuming a lot of my time and at the same time leaving me feel as if I have accomplished very little. I would like to be doing something else, but this is my lot in life, and I have a family to provide for. Damn this sense of responsibility. Time is short as I write this, so I will have to conclude here for now. Simply put, my New Year's resolution is one of introspect.
This is the "Year of the Dragon" as well. My year.
